Nothing is Right or Wrong

Deepti, a close friend of mine always says one thing - Nothing is Right or Wrong. I never went in for a discussion with her but somewhere in the heart did not completely agree with her. But, yesterday a talk with Pramilla which started with office discussion and turned out to be full length life discussion and somewhere in between I said"Nothing is Right or Wrong".
I felt I never agreed to Deepti but yesterday when I mentioned this to Pramilla; I felt I do believe in it but its just that I never agreed; maybe was afraid to believe the fact of life.

Our discussion got over but I went into my thought mode as usual. Looked back at my life and found this statement so very true and tried thinking on this from each angle.

Not sure why but when I was a school kid I always wanted to be a doctor but was always afraid of injections/blood etcc..could not even dissect rat without crying. But still wanted to be a doctor. And when I could not clear my Medical Entrance Exams I felt why this wrong happened with me ....Why Why....But, if I look back today; suppose by mistake I would have cleared the exam; not sure if I would have been a good doctor....I know I did not turnout to be a good Engineer also.. :) So what's right or wrong?? Don't know..

Looking at some of my friends life..
For one of them - Her engagement was broken with the person whom she loved the most; She felt its all wrong and wrong. And just one question...Why Why....Let's not get into the reasons; but later, she found someone really nice who loved her like anything. So can we say that what happened first was right or wrong?? What do you say?

Other friend of mine did not get the job he wanted and felt it was all wrong and as usual Why..Why?? Later he got something really good and today he is in one of the top positions of the company..So What's right and wrong??


So, there are many more things which keep happening in our lives - breakdowns, loose people, break-ups, not getting the jobs at the right time, and many more things which if highlighted will bring tears.
That very moment when it happens we feel why this wrong is happening with me. Why....Why??
But, it seems the world famous quote 'Whatever happens; happens for a reason' is true. Later in life remembering this sad moment of our life might bring the smile on our face.

There have been so many ups and down even in my life. Even if I believe in all whats written above; I will still keep asking myself - "Why that happened to me - Why that wrong - What wrong etc..?". After all I am a human being and not yet attained nirvana; hence the question "Why" never leaves me and it is difficult to think completely that there is nothing right or wrong.The day the person realizes, understand the depth of this sentence - the person will be so very happy. Wish I attain that status soon...Amen.. :)

Isn't this Right or Wrong similar to Black or White; binary - one or zero. You can put some some of the things/situations/events of your life into one of these buckets but still you would be left with some which doesn't fall anywhere; what about them?
Let's take the example of the most lovely feeling - Can we say Love is right or wrong. It is just a different feeling; something we all want; something which can never be explained in words. And I am talking of parental love, sibling love, partner love, friendly love....When it brings smile on our face - we say its right - its all red and pink. But, when due to some reasons - it brings tears to our eyes - everything becomes black, zero and wrong.
So such events/things - let's keep them as it is and try not to put them in Right or Wrong Bucket. If you feel that it was wrong; don't loose hope, just try to resolve it. But even after you have tried; it does not work; smile and don't feel bad. As it was neither Right nor Wrong...

Keep Smiling.. :)

Women-Should we not be appreciated & loved everyday and not just March 8th?

Everywhere on FB/Newspaper/TV/Company Celebrations we can see women being appreciated for being on this Earth, for her sacrifices, for all she does 24*7*365, for all the love she gives all around
her, for all the great work she does, the way she takes care of the family, the way she is growing in her career and many more things which if laid down will take pages from my end.

But, I just have one question is it just for one day - March 8th??



 Let me try to put my thoughts via different phases of our life.
There are still regions in India or maybe even outside India where a cute little infant baby girl doesn't even get an opportunity to see her mother as she is killed inside the womb itself. Do I need to talk anything on this event of life? Just a question. Why???

Let's move ahead to next phase: School/College Girls
Luckily in cities, we are getting an opportunity to study and grow in life.  Villages are sad on that end also. Very few girls are lucky enough who are allowed to study and grow. Most of the other ones get married even before they realize that they exist. Again Why?

Giving an example of myself - my father and mother always wanted their daughter to study and do well in life so that I am self sufficient and never forced me to learn cooking or do any specific work. It was on me to do what I wanted to do. But, I heard many of our relatives/neighbors calling out to my parents that Sharmaji, this is wrong and...................... And I agree today, that I am not a great cook but I can cook to an extent that no one will remain hungry and I cook only when required. It's not my hobby. If you don't know cooking; are you not a good girl?? Do I come in bad girl's category?
Does man know everything???

Let's move to the next phase - Marriage
Each girl on this earth has the dream of getting married, leading a happy - loving life with her husband. But not many are lucky at this end. There are cases where she is burnt to death coz. of dowry; there are cases where she has to move out due to some or the other reason in her married life.
And dear friends, in any scenario; eyes are raised on girl's character. Why???

In each phase; I am not saying man are always wrong but dear friends; I want that don't be biased in saying that women have to be and are always wrong?

Normal scenarios:
When the child does something wrong; everyone points finger at the Mother. Is father not required or involved in child's upbringing. Why is mother only at fault or why can't child be at fault?

When she moves out of her marriage; what does this society say - Must be girl's mistake. Can't you wait to understand the plight she has gone through or why can't it be man coz of whom all this happened?

When she gets raped; again our society calls out - Must be girl's mistake. Imagine the state of this girl and on top of this such sentences. Will any girl ask for this to happen to herself?

When she is not able to handle the situations; she tries to kill herself - Again around you; this society will comment - She was only wrong that's why she killed herself.



Awesome. Do you want to say Women is equivalent to Wrong??? If this is the thought process, March 8th or any other date doesn't make any difference?

These are just some examples but how can we be always wrong and then one day in this year everyone appreciates us. What an irony? Why are we tested at each phase of out life?? Why no one tries to understand the reason behind each event and by default the variable of mistakes is set as women?

Out of millions; only few hundreds can survive real bad scenarios. I agree we can take inspiration from each one of those who started life in rags and now are millionaires; who could climb the Everest; who could fight the goons. But, do you think each girl is able to do this?
There are millions of cries which are not even heard out of the 4 walls?
What about those women? They don't know the difference between March 8th or March 9th. Each day/night is same for them.

Why can't we have safe, loving environment around us. Why can't man learn and instead of appreciating just on one single day - just be loving, caring, understanding each moment of life.
It's the man who need to learn and become mature in life.
She does so much as someone wrote on FB: Salute her for everything she does, (cooking, cleaning your house, taking care of your parents,bringing up your children, earning, advising you, ensuring you can be relaxed, maintaining all family relations, everything that benefit you.....sometimes at the cost of her own health , hobbies and beauty.

Very Happy Women's day not to just Women but to Men also!!!

God created someone who is Wise, only know to love , make sacrifices , encourages and never gives up , 

i.e. Women. 

Smiling Kabi... Always Smiling... :)

Looking at this always smiling cute little girl sitting on my side cubicle made me wish write something about her. Actually more than seeing her daily; her attitude which I felt when we went for this 10KM Marathon forced me to think and hence pen it down.
 

This cute girl - Kabi is in my Project. She joined few months back and is from our Support Team. I sit on her side and I find positivity all around me. She brings positivity, liveliness all over the floor. 

What to say about her attitude. Giving an example of this Marathon; we got this email from our Company Club. As usual without reading I deleted the email. Seems after a day; we were

chit-chatting and she asked me about this. Since I deleted without even opening the email; she forwarded the email and made me register; and not just register but asked to me go for 10 KM one as she had applied for the same. As she asked me; so I did without thinking. But when the d-day was coming; I asked her don't you think we did a mistake by registering for 10KM as my friends are laughing on me. She said - " Nitu let people laugh. It's fine. We might not complete; but we are being optimist and all these people who are laughing are pessimist. Organizers will not force us to run. Let us try. If we make it; we would feel good". 

And friends, It was her optimism and her attitude which made me ran 10 KM. So, it's you Kabi. Thanks for it.

It's not just Marathon. Don't remember the topic for our talk; but I remember one line of hers. We should not get ready or dress up for others. We should do it for ourselves also sometimes. We need to smile for ourselves also. Why is it that always a girl has to get dressed up, look good for some one else. Why??? 

So very true dear.

I don't know her completely but my dear Kabi you are an Angel. You are beautiful from heart and for sure you are a beauty. Your dance during our AHM was awesome. Anyone who sees it can forget his/her tension. Its a sweet medicine.

I can write pages of different talks we both had. She is full of energy and smiles.

But herein; I would want to add from my end; maybe many have said it before. 

                                    Our life 

                                          Starts with the cry; Ends with the cry - 

                                                Let us fill this blank of Start and End with Endless Smiles

                                                                                   Keep Smiling

For sure, there are tensions, issues, problems in life and its not in just mine but in each one's life. Even in the life of the person who is rich; even who is old, even who is young, even who has won Ms World, even who has won any match or anyone on this Earth.

These problems will not go anywhere; they are part n parcel of us.  And they have to be there to get the best out of us and give the best till we are here. So better we:

Live ---------------------------> Laugh --------------------------------> Love

Even I Want To....

 


Even I Want To Cry...
Even I Want To Smile...
Even I Want To Open Up...






Howling at 3 AM in the night; eyes full of tears; praying to God "Please give me sleep, Even I want to sleep. Please let me sleep...God, I have office at 9 AM in the morning, Please give me sleep."

All alone in the room, suddenly my past starts dancing in front of me and I am not able to sleep. One after the other the events are flashing. My heart is heavy as if 100 Kg of box has been kept on it, each moment I feel as if my little brain will come out of the head like a chicken popping out of the egg.
I feel like vomiting, rush towards the washbasin, coughing loudly...I come out, switch on the lights; stand in front of the mirror and look at myself. Eyes are swollen; hair are untidy and ....empty eyes gazing at myself. Room is fully lighted but I am not able to see even streak of it. I have no strength in me. Am I going to die?
I am looking for answers which will never get answered. This is one of the similar nights when there is no sleep in my eyes - just nothing, or is it something or is it everything.
Why this keeps happening to me. Why? Why ? Why?


[ Friends, this is the starting of the small story, I would be putting it across through different posts on my blog. The girl here is named Tanya - a girl of my story. She will be narrating everything in her own words. 
Look forward for your views. ]

Blasts in Life

Watching 'Mumbai Meri Jaan' on TV.
The scene where the wife is in panic and tells her husband that she was trying to reach him just after the blasts; telling him how tensed she was about him; reminded me of the blasts in Delhi on 29 Oct 2005. I was just 100-200 meters away from the Sarojini Nagar spot where the blast took place. In actual, I was standing beside the shop few minutes back where this happened.
Nothing happened to me; not even a scratch but the sound of that blast, people running all around me stopped my mind. I didn't understand all what was happening and why. I took more than an hour to reach my home which wass less than a km from this market spot. Not sure, which road did I traversed. My parents were worried and maybe they would have thought for a moment that they lost their daughter; they were trying to call but network was busy. There was no electricity in that area. I was terrified. Not sure; maybe I don't remember exactly now what all was going in my mind at that particular moment; but this situation was gruesome.

I reached home. Parents were happy to see their daughter safe and sound. I can imagine all what they must have gone during that one hour. All the relatives were calling up to find out if everyone was safe at our home. Watching this movie while putting down my thoughts; makes me think of all the questions - What, Why, How..............Seems there is no answer to these questions with anyone of us.

I had just completed my Engineering and was leaving my home for the first time after a week of this event; For the first time, I was going away from my parents. I never shared with anyone; but I got scared, got scared if something happens; if something goes wrong, if something ....if something....
No one is ever prepared for any such things in life.
Is it destiny that something of this sort has to happen; so it happens. Does it mean, is it written by God that some of us would have to leave this Earth via these methods. Why? The people who leave the Earth; leave their families - Go but what about their family members/friends/relatives who are still on this Earth. What all do they go through?? I have felt/seen this but if I would have gone on that day.........

This is just a movie but for sure how do people actually feel after such events. And this doesn't happen just in our country but it is happening all over the world. Feelings after all are same everywhere; they don't see religion, culture, countries, color or anything - It is same everywhere and in everyone.

I was lucky enough and was saved on that day to live more and see this world. Till this moment; I was always safeguarded by my parents - brother, safe and sound within the four walls of home. Such blasts are visible to all but are many other volcanoes which keep erupting in our lives. I am still learning and trying to understand all the different sorts of blast which keep happening in life. Are all these learning which helps us grow in a better way or .....???

The 2 minute silence in the movie teaches that life still keeps moving and we have to keep moving and need to be strong enough to fight all the blasts in life. Blasts can come in any form but we need to come out of it soon so as to live this life with all smiles. After all, its our life. Life needs to come in Order after any event.
We need to say 'It OK' with a big smile.

For sure, we can keep going for miles even after we think we can't. That is Life. 

We need to be Stronger than Yesterday.

Keep Smiling.... :)