Holding my cute little niece in my arms brings the smile on my face, takes off all the stress. Playing with this few months old kiddoo who has no name as of now, just wants one to play more n more with her and not think of issues, challenges, hikes, appraisals, work and more stupid things of life.
Some months back when she was just few weeks old, we all were sitting and playing with her. Somebody commented - Humans are the most developed of all the living beings but are the most dependent beings when they are born and they remain so for quiet a few years. Didn't give much thought to this as just looking at this innocent child and keeping her in the arms was the best thing one wanted to do, rather think seriously about this.
Today, while I playing and looking at her trying to crawl, hold the hand....., made me think about the above comment made long time back. Isn't this the fact.. I am sure, all the parents would be able to comment better.
Human kids are so dependent on their mothers and other family members for sure to grow, to learn how to eat, walk, sit, do so many other things. I mean to say they cannot grow without somebody else taking care of them. If we see other living beings(animals) they do also need their mothers to teach them basics but they learn all this very fast and can live independently without the need of their mother after few days or weeks but human child needs 1-2 years and if we see otherwise some more years to be able to go out and live on their own without anybody's support. And this gets into our nature that we are always dependent on somebody else. Even those who say they are not and show that they are very much independent and don't need anybody, tell the lie of their life.
When the child is born, he is dependent on his mother for his food, for his care, for his growth in the best way. As he grows, for sure, he remains dependent on his parents forever(depends on the context in which we can say he is dependent or its just his and their love for which we use this small word "dependent"). School Time, he is dependent on his teacher, his classmates for the best education which he will get and become a good person.
Now, it depends on us how and in which way we consider this word 'Dependent'. Many of us might take this word as 'Evil/Bad' word for anybody's growth and in today's world everybody wants to be independent.
Child after 4-5 years will say 'Parents, I am not dependent on you. It is your responsibility to do everything for me.'.
Wife says to husband' I am earning well, I am very much independent' and Husband echoes the same words.
Colleagues are independent of each other.
I am sure, we all want Independent wives, kids, husbands, parents to make life easy.
But, the emotional part of this person wants to say that what is wrong in being dependent. Let's look it other way round. Just to give different perspective, I will try giving some examples. When a wife says to her husband - 'Hey, please come and pick/drop myself to the office whenever you can and have time'. It depends on how we look at this. Husband can think - 'What a lady, can't she live, come and go on her own, she is very much educated and why is she being dependent on me. Other way to look at it is - Wow, this is such a good opportunity to get some more minutes with my wife. In this fast pace world when we both are working so hard on our career and get so much less time for each other. Its a good idea to drive down to her office whenever I get some time.
So, it depends on how we look at the idea. Is it actually dependency or is it love or is it the time one wants to spend with her/his loved ones. As we know this famous saying - 'Beauty lies in the eye of the beholder'
Somehow, I feel we interpret this word 'Dependent' in a wrong way. We assume, we interpret the way we want to, but not the way it is in actual.
Another example - As I said above, that Human Child is the most dependent on all the living beings. We all see this and its the very fact. But, isn't this human child and this dependency which gets the mother child, grandparents - grandchildren, parents - child relationships so close and strong. Does any other living being has such a close and strong attachment with other. It is just because of this dependency which the child has built up in his infancy that gets him close to his family and he understands the value of family, love, care.
Haven't we seen the cases/situations wherein child doesn't like his family coz. they did not give him time when it was required by him.
Why this difference of views for the same situation? Why most people take the word dependency in a wrong sense. Why don't we try to see the other side of the coin that it might not be actually dependency but the way of showing love, care and more closeness.
Also, why cant we differentiate between professional dependency and personal dependency/love/care/closeness???
For sure, when we face the Professional world and we are out in this world, we need to be independent and have to give out best and look up to take up the next position and work beyond our own capabilities. We should be doing the work on our own and work with the teams and be a leader to get the best out of ourselves for our organization.
And in our personal lives, we should be very much independent in most of the things, but there are some situations when you look forward that your child or your spouse should discuss with you and let you know and then take a joint decision over some situation or you look upon your parents, your spouse, friends to help you in deciding certain things. This should not be considered as being dependent nature of that person or taken as a negative personality of that person. It is known as giving value to that person. People looks upon you for certain situations as they trust you with their most precious possessions, thoughts etc.. They count on your faith and care you have shown to them. This shows that how much value you have in your life and you are reliable, so you should be cherishing this and not considering this as a liability. They value you and your decisions. Why cant we be happy coz. of this and rather find faults and issues?
Let's keep our lives smilingly Simple. If somebody looks upon us and is looking for something. Don't put the judgmental shoes and build up that this person cannot do anything or so many other things which come to the mind. We need to understand, get in his shoes and help him out at that point not by spoon feeding him but working with him to make him independent but don't take his dependency in the literal sense of this word but maybe take it up as his faith, his love, his care, his closeness, his reliability and confidence on you.
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