Even I Want To....

 


Even I Want To Cry...
Even I Want To Smile...
Even I Want To Open Up...






Howling at 3 AM in the night; eyes full of tears; praying to God "Please give me sleep, Even I want to sleep. Please let me sleep...God, I have office at 9 AM in the morning, Please give me sleep."

All alone in the room, suddenly my past starts dancing in front of me and I am not able to sleep. One after the other the events are flashing. My heart is heavy as if 100 Kg of box has been kept on it, each moment I feel as if my little brain will come out of the head like a chicken popping out of the egg.
I feel like vomiting, rush towards the washbasin, coughing loudly...I come out, switch on the lights; stand in front of the mirror and look at myself. Eyes are swollen; hair are untidy and ....empty eyes gazing at myself. Room is fully lighted but I am not able to see even streak of it. I have no strength in me. Am I going to die?
I am looking for answers which will never get answered. This is one of the similar nights when there is no sleep in my eyes - just nothing, or is it something or is it everything.
Why this keeps happening to me. Why? Why ? Why?


[ Friends, this is the starting of the small story, I would be putting it across through different posts on my blog. The girl here is named Tanya - a girl of my story. She will be narrating everything in her own words. 
Look forward for your views. ]