Fear

Fear of height, fear of closed space, fear of water, fear of dying, fear of being loved, fear of loneliness…I am sure, each one of us has some or the other fear. Isn’t it?

Do you think are these the actual fears for which we have some scientific terms also –

aquaphobia,  altophobia, microphobia, etc….. I saw somewhere and found it very true. It’s not fear of height but we are afraid of falling.  It’s not being afraid of the crowd and people around us but we are afraid of rejections. In actual, we are not afraid of love but afraid of not getting back the love. The fact is we are not afraid of trying again but we are afraid of failing or getting hurt for the same reason.

Since childhood, I have been listening from my parents and most of you must have – Child Be bold, don’t fear anything, anybody. But, somehow I could not let this word ‘fear’ to get erased from my personal dictionary. As I look back, I figured out a very simple reason, As I was growing up, I saw my mother being fearful of me letting me crawl or walk out of the home as a child, my father being afraid of me getting hooked up with bad boys during my teenage, my brother being afraid, if I would fail in the exams and thanks to my friends who did help me to identify different other types of fears. So it’s very clear that I grew within and with this fear only, so how can I just chuck it off now coz. of listening to some speeches or reading some books.

At this stage, would like to ask you? Do you have any fear????

For sure, this fear is very much part and parcel of our lives. After my infancy and even your infancy, you have been fearful in one or the other way – fearful of the big beard man, fearful of teachers, parents, proposals, love, marriage, job, divorce, parenting and many more in line and not to miss the fear of lizards, cockroaches, ghost, water…We are surrounded, diving in this world of fear. As per the Oxford dictionary says word fear means “An unpleasant emotion caused by the threat of danger, pain, or harm” . I agree to this definition but does it really imply in such simple terms in the the real life.

Talking with one of my very close friends who is going via a very bad phase of her life. Divorce. Right now she is fearful of loneliness, she is fearful of loving someone again. She is fearful of starting the life again. Talking to her for hours, made me think about this word fear and hence from wherein this topic for my post. She went in for the arranged marriage, said No to the person whom she loved coz. her parents were not in favor of the love marriage. Like a sweet Indian girl, excited about her marriage, her status changed from Single to Married. Within a week, she got to know that she was deceived. Certain Reasons, which are out of scope of this post. She tried to fight with the situation. Why??? Coz she was fearful of moving out of the marriage, coz. she was fearful of the society, coz. she was fearful of the word Divorcee. Situation went bad. She was almost on the verge of loosing herself, fully fearful and at that point somehow she decided to move out of this Marriage. Today she is out from her so called Marriage, but still fearful and fearful of starting her life again. She was never fearful of love but today she is coz. of the unexpected situations which happened in her life. As the world says – Time is the biggest healer and I also pray that this should help her to regain her strength and one day she is able to give a good fight to these fears and start living again. Her past experience is holding her back and this is not letting her smile which is for sure her right. It’s only she who can give a punch to all these fears and smile back again. It is just the mind game dear friends. No one else except for ourselves who can move out or fight these fears. I am sure, many of you also might have gone through such situations. Many of you might have come out of it; Many of you might be trying to come out of these. I wish all of us All the Best!!!

So, let’s all give punches to our fears, by trying out our own methodologies. There are number of reali life examples in front of us to see and learn and hence implement. It’s only us who can make the difference to ourselves.

Would like to end with the few lines from the book - The Secret Letters of the Monk who Sold his Ferrari - What holds us back in life is in the invisible architecture of fear. It keeps us in our comfort zones, which are, in truth, the least safe places in which to live. But every time we do that which we fear, we take back the power that fear has stolen from us – for on the other side of our fear lives our strength. Every time we step into the discomfort of growth and progress, we become more free. The more fears we walk through, the more power we reclaim. In this way, we grow both fearless and powerful, and thus are able to lives the lives of our dreams.

Be frearless ………..Be Free…. Keep Smiling

Poor Little Date!!!

Recalling something made me post on FB few days back:

You love some dates…

                      You hate some dates

You want to remember each and every moment of some dates...

                     You want to avoid each and every moment which reminds us of some dates....

One Single Date, You love it n You hate it...

                      Poor little Date, what should it do???

There were some comments and this made me think more and I decided to put down something after a long time.

We all have some or the other dates – B’day, Anniversaries, Engagement, first day when he took my hand in his, first date when he gave me a flower, divorce, first date when we fought and many more such dates. Some of these dates, we forget, but some dates either bring smile on our face and some make us look at the wall for hours n hours and at the end make the eyes watery.

Sometime back, I heard two of my friends:

Hey Nisha, I hope you are coming over to my place for the party tomorrow. It’s my 2^nd Marriage Anniversary. I am so thankful to my hubby to be on my side. Thanks to God, for getting us together.

Ohh, Richa that’s good to hear…Congrats and All the Best for the coming years….Tomorrow is my Anniversary also, but I got divorced 2 years back on the same date.

One date – Bringing the Smile on Richa’s face and tears in Nisha’s eyes.

                                             Irony of The Poor Little Date

We all have faced such situations, isn’t it? There are some dates in each one of our lives which we just love it, want to celebrate it each month, each year and look forward for it to come back again n again. 
For sure, on the other side of the coin, there are some dates about which when we think, brings goosebumps, tears, loud cry, shivers all over the body.

Is it the mistake of this poor little date? Or let’s try blaming our luck, that such n such thing happened, coz. time was bad or it’s our bad luck or the day was not good to start this event and many more such reasons.

What say??? Which one do you believe in?

Friends, none of the above is the actual fact. You know, I know, We all know. It is just that we always try to find something to blame on for all the bad things which have happened to us in our lives. It is just the state of mind. So, It’s not any type of our luck coz. of which one is smiling and other is sad. It’s just some situations, certain circumstances which let you be on either side of the river.  Most of us think that if we were only in some other place, had someone else in our life, or had some other job, we would be happy. Well, that is doubtful.

So, I feel that get as much happiness out of what you are doing as you can and don't put off being happy until some future date.

Everybody says and even big philosophers have said - Time is the biggest healer. But, somehow from my view point, time is a healer for sure but can you forget certain things, certain dates of your life which made you change your direction of life, your thoughts, your lifestyle, changed you as a person. Can you forget those dates???? Can time heal this??? Sorry to say but as per my views “NO”. Also, I feel, we should not forget those dates. But, yes we should not keep crying, cribbing over it. We are also entitled to get the best from our Dates. So, yes the time is the healer in the sense that it gives you the direction gradually, gradually to flow with what is happening or to flow the other way round, or to change your path. A day, good or bad, always passes by n u get something else. And we just hate or like a date.

What say!!! Let’s live each experience as it passes; the way we live our seasons, days; breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit, and resign yourself to the influences of each. Maybe each experience of mine till date and in the coming days, had and will have the date with destiny, so I need to be pretty and at my best. Isn’t it, I need to look the best for my dates.

I got some comments on my FB Post. Let’s try to look at those angles also.

I am sure, most of you must have gone on Dates. Some might have turned out sweet and some sour. So, either blind or planned dates which we go out for, somehow land in either being bad or good. Similar to the above lines, might make you remember it forever either this way or the other way.

Let’s check out one more angle – Dates. Have you eaten Dates. Some of you like and some don’t.  Again, poor single date – loved by some and hated by some.

So whichever, whatever types of dates you talk, it finally seems to have two sides, for some it’s good and for some its bad. Same thing/ same situation but two results. At this point I am able to recall one comedy serial which used to come on SAB TV where this character used to keep saying that if you do this, there are two options and that his infinite options used to irritate people but today looking back, there was so much weight in that comedy.

Would like to say even if a particular date was good or bad, Date is important coz. What is done on those dates is of value. So, let’s not wait for dates to tell or figure out how one should live his life.  We should just live and enjoy the moment. Atleast try to……

 
As someone has said:

With a bit of a mind flip………………

                   You're into the time slip.

And nothing can ever be the same…………

                   You're spaced out on sensation.

Like you're under sedation………………

                   Let's do the time-warp again.

Red Signal!!!

Travelling for hours on the Delhi Roads, made me think about these immovable items which keep standing 24*7 and provide selfless service to each one of us. Most of the times, we abuse, hate and just show our anger to them but they will still blink and smile at us. Lot to learn from them.

Here goes something in their own words.

I am the same thing which makes you finish your talks when I start blinking.

I am the same thing which makes you either stop or pick up the speed on the roads.

I am the same thing which comes in your life on and off. Sometimes, you welcome me with open hands, but otherwise you just shove off and hate me the most.

Could you guess by now? Who am I?

Very Right...I am the Red Signal.

I am sure; you all have encountered me in your life at some or the other point of time in actual or in literal terms. Maybe everyday and in every important decision or phase of your life.

Starting with the Contests, you see me always coming third in the end after my sisters Green and Yellow. I take care of my sisters and let them come before me. But I have seen people, sometimes, praying for me to come fast or late depending on their readiness with the subject. They love me if I come as per their wish and hate me if they are disqualified coz. of me. I am sorry.

Getting on to my Road friends whom I meet everyday rushing from here and there. I am almost deaf coz. of your honking and now I have migraine coz. of you, but nobody takes care or even thinks once before honking or flying across me.

I still have no issues with all this and I am ready to face it but, the point which I want to share with you is, I get in dilemma standing there with my sisters. Some of you are in hurry and want my Green Signal Sister to come fast but on the other hand who are either updating their Facebook status or buying the red rose at that point, want me to keep blinking for some more time.

Whom should I listen?? Now, if I keep blinking, one of you will start using some lovely words for me and if I allow my sister to start blinking, the other friend of mine will either hit somebody and will have to update his FB via hell or heaven or will be slapped by his girlfriend for not getting the rose. What and where is my mistake? But, please understand me, it’s not in my hand to either keep or stop blinking. I am completely controlled by some rules, similar to the way your life is controlled.

Standing there all day and night, I have seen all types of emotions of yours ---> smiles, laughter, cries, sadness, anger, shouts, abuses, everything and all at the same time. As is said, life is big circle and all these fillings are fillers here and there, but we all have to live and enjoy this life along with these fillers. My dear friends, I am of the same color which is the sign of both love and anger. I just follow the changes of your emotions. Sometimes, some of you get drunk, hit me. You and your car goes for repairs, but nobody even feels anything for me. I still keep standing there, smiling and blinking. Sometimes, I feel I am the licensed eve teaser who teases each one of you day and night and no policeman ever says anything to me, instead look forward for my winks.

But, as you sometimes either love or hate me depending on the situation. I just wish, you don’t have any pre-conceived notion of either feeling for me.

If this is the not the case for me, then why are you so judgemental for certain things and people around you?? If somebody has hurt you, done wrong to you, you start hating the person and it makes sense to do the same. Agreed, but not forever. He/She did wrong to you. You are a common person, and it makes sense to be angry, abuse and hate him. But, if you keep doing so forever, not even indirectly, you are directly hurting yourself. Let the things go off. You never know, the person might have changed and when you meet him next time, take that as the present and act accordingly. Things go wrong and sometimes, right because you don’t have the control over them, as I don’t have on my blinking.

Next time, and that will be today for sure, when you see me, please don’t hate me. I am there for you, just for you. Standing all alone, getting tanned in the sun, soaked in the rain and feeling cold but with no pre-conceived notions. I love you all and see you all with the same eye and complete my duties and responsibilities with full dedication and sincerity towards you. I am very much part n parcel of your life.

As somebody has said:

“Let everything happen to you
Beauty and terror
Just keep going
No feeling is final”

I wish you could fall in love with me(traffic lights), so that you would know if you should go for it, slow down, or just stop! Enjoy winking.

Why Me???

Teardrops slowly fall from my eyes as I look to the sky, and I question how come life keeps passing me right on by.  I just wonder why I can't escape, is this my fate?  To always be unhappy and how much longer must I wait...

Why Me???

I am sure, this question comes on and off in everybody's mind.

Recently saw this advertisement of Yuvraj Singh after his victory over cancer - WHY ME. I don’t remember exactly, but the ad seems to be for an Insurance Company.

But, this "WHY ME" triggered lots and lots of questions-thoughts inside this small brain of mine. The important fact of life and death and the complete process which we all walk through from the day we start breathing inside our mother's womb till we get onto the funeral pyre. 

Small baby who dies even before he takes birth; Mother thinks - WHY ME?

Now, if the child comes out and takes in the fresh air of our universe but something wrong happens later or is born with some abnormalities.

Again the mother says - WHY ME? On top of this she thinks wish the child had not seen the first rays of light of this world.

Now suppose, if with the God's grace and Doctor's abilities, all goes well.

He grows up to be a naughty child and one who doesn’t study much. Again the mom thinks - WHY my child only??Why "A's" child is so good and studies well. etccc.......

Let's make this child intelligent and smart but when he gives his Entrance Exams after school and is not able to make into one of the IITs or AIIMS by just one mark. Again the mother and now even this teenager thinks - WHY ME??? I was so intelligent and smart but still could not get through and now I am standing outside the gates of these prestigious colleges of India coz, some lucky friend of mine got through. But, did he ever think for all these 16-17 years, he was the lucky mascot for so many.

 Irony doesn’t stop here.

As we progress in our life from college to job to married life to parenthood to some illness on the way and even on the last step of our life - Death, if everything goes well, we just smile and thank god but never think WHY ME.

When even one event of the life takes a different turn and the Red Signal of our life does not change to Green for few minutes, hours, days, months and years...

We start asking again n again - WHY ME????

For sure, this moment of WHY ME is bad and it hurts and maybe sometimes we wish, if we had not taken this decision or wish to die or wish if some miracle could happen to pull us out of this situation or just wants to sleep for a thousand years, or just not exist, or just not be aware that you do exist, or something like that.  Wish the earth stops rotating and revolving or something which keeps you away from everybody and so many other thoughts keep spinning in your head.

At this point, somehow one more thought comes to my mind that all those books which talk about leadership and ask us to focus, concentrate and grow as a leader.

Is it easy to come out of this WHY ME and keep moving on the path of this leadership???? I still have to learn and walk this path.

As some great people have said---->

" Our life's a stage, a comedy: either learn to play and take it lightly, or bear its troubles patiently." Maybe during those WHY ME situations, we need to be patient and work to make the traffic signal Green.

OR

" Life is like the dice that, falling, still show a different face. So life, though it remains the same, is always presenting different aspects."

Keep Smiling..... :)

Why do we need somebody else to police us always????

 If you don't design your own life plan, chances are you'll fall into someone else's plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much. 

End of July, most parts of Northen India faced: Major power failure due to Northern power grid breakdown. Being Delhite, and being one of the victims of this power failure while driving down the South Delhi this is what I thought and decided to pen it down. 



Suddenly, a normal usual technical failure in the afternoon which led to no power and most of the people who travel via different modes were on the roads in Delhi. Metro was impacted and thousands of passengers for whom the metro is a lifeline had no other choice but to use the road service. Hence, as per the logic, there will be more people, more traffic on the road. At this point, Traffic Lights also ditched the travellers which could have been savior. But, no worries Delhi is known as people with hearts, so we were facing all this bravely. On top of this, monsoon rains which we are not seeing so regularly and which is deficit this year also started pouring. Wow, I suppose, most of us have heard this phrase and it did fit aptly at this time"Bhagwan jabh deta hai toh chapphar fad ke deta hai". It means that when God gives, he gives by breaking down your ceiling. I hope I have translated it correctly. 

 My father and me were driving down to Saket for some work on a weekday in the afternoon. At the IIT Gate Traffic Signal, we landed up in the soup which is known as The Traffic Jam.

No Traffic Lights, No policeman, all the four sides of the road on the crossing were crowded and everybody is in a hurry as everybody has some urgent work in such situations. We were also one of those.

At this point, for sure, there will be somebody who will try to out smart others and try to be more intelligent then everybody and he thinks he can cross the road and will not be a issue for others. As its a trend, so we had one here. I have tried to use my painting skills. Black Honda City was the culprit at this time over here. In this drawing, Car in the center is the Black Honda City and other blue and red lines are other vehicles from all other sides. Driver of this Honda City, decided to cross but there was somebody else in front of him, not s small vehicle but a big truck coming from the other side who came in front of him. And then, Black Honda City got stuck in between and hence everybody as no one could move even a inch back or in front.  If one would have tried also, then we would have landed in something which is known as accident and added spices to the soup.

And then after 5 minute of wait, my father came out of his car and tried to ask some of the people to move so that this Black Honda City can move and hence some space can be made and traffic can start moving atleast. But, even if little space was made, we would get a biker or a scooterist from somewhere who would come to go from there and again we were back to square one. Father frustrated came inside and said nothing can happen of this and people. He was loosing his temper now as we had to reach as soon as possible and we were loosing time. And then after 15 minutes, we saw two traffic policeman came. I heard my father saying - "Now, people will listen and move". I didn't say anything as didn't want to get in the discussion mode at the wrong time, but kept thinking over the way.

Normally, we say that these Traffic Policemen don't do anything and at such hour, its these guys only who are making the difference and we listen to them. Also, we look forward for them, otherwise normally we pray and hope that they are not there on the traffic signals. Isn't it. Why are we like this??? But, here I am not to praise the policeman as have so much to say against them. So let's get onto what I was actually thinking.

Next thought which came to my mind was that why do we need a policeman to guide us. All those who are driving are above 18(As per the law, you cant get the licence before 18) so, for sure, crossed the teens and are very much adults. So, do we need a policing at this age also. Why were we acting like a kid and waiting for a person who might be younger to many of us who are there to tell that what should be done. Inspite of driving above 100 on highways, we need somebody to tell and guide us.  Hmm....Infants, Kids need parents, children need parents and teachers to guide them. College students also needs teachers, parents. But are we not learning at each level of our age to grow intelligent and think independently and take the right decisions at the right time without looking upon a policeman. I am not talking just about policeman but different instances of our life also wherein we keep looking for some police to tell us inspite of the fact that we know more about the situation and have the ability to confirm that what's right and what's wrong but still we want somebody else to tell and that somebody should have the authority. For sure, we will listen to this authorized person are used to listening to authority and working as per that.

Please don't get confused by the term suggestion, advice which we should keep looking from anyone at any age and at any point of our life (Either the person with authority, our seniors in any form, or somebody who is expert in that area who can be younger to you also or some discussion which we have on and off with friends, strangers). At this point I am trying to mention about the things wherein we can take our own call but still we don't and we do some silly mistakes and get everybody else in the soup. Traffic Jam is just an example which triggered the thought process in my small brain.

A lot of people don't want to make their own decisions. They're too scared. It's much easier to be told what to do. Why do we need Policing always????

Does our life depend on the movement of Moon/Stars/Sun?

We all have heard about astrology, sun signs, our stars, palmistry, our life being ruled by movement of Stars/Moon/Sun. I will not say if I have never believed all this. It will be a lie. I do believe. But, more then this, I believe in that super power which exists and which guides us to to do good in life for our own selves and to other beings. Also, I believe in myself, that who actually I am and can be to myself and to this world. I can make or break my life; by my thoughts, by my way of living the same.

Even today I do have, somewhere deep in the brains or in the heart,belief on this connection between what is happening in our lives and reason for which are these stars and astrology. But, for sure, there is a doubt now..Hmmm...let me try to recall some instances in my life and some in my friends' lives.

When I was a kiddoo, going to the school. As usual, not studying before hand and getting tensed a day before the exam. Sitting in front of the God, I used to pray "God, this time. Please save me. Pls...From next time, I swear, will study hard from day 1 and will not trouble you, Pls, God. Pls................." Big tears from my eyes used to melt my dear God and hence at the end I used to get good marks. Thanks to HIM!!!

One day, I heard one of my friends saying that when she was crying the other day before her exams; her brother explained her one simple thing - You are wasting your time by crying. You can use the same time to study and give your best. There will be situations in life when these tears will not be able to help you. You will have to be bold enough to face the world. And, Once, you are sure, that you have given your best, just say to God - "Hey God, I have tried my level best. Now. I leave on you. Please help me and do the best for me". I really liked this. Till date, I have been following this along with the on and off cries in front of the God. Things have worked and if they haven't worked, I thought, maybe it was not for me and God knew the best so I didn't get it and will surely get the best later.

Grew from childhood to teens to adult hood with this small funda of life, trying to look at the positive side of whatever was happening. Trying my level best to get the best, to do the best in each aspect of life, career, studies, family, friends....Always being optimistic of the things and keeping that smiling face always on....coz, whatever was happening was happening for a reason, so not to worry just keep giving your best....Many things happened in between. Let's skip the autobiography of myself.. :)))

Class 11th which decides what and how you will be moving in your life. I took PCMB which is considered to be one of the toughest selections. Took it, did well in boards but could not fulfill the dreams of seeing myself saving the lives of others. Went for Engineering, the next line which was never the plan; never dreamt to be one, but I graduated as an Electronics Engineer. Sometimes, I used to think, Somebody had rightly said --->"Whatever happens, happens for Good". Maybe I would not have been a good doctor and God knew this so, he took the right decision for me.

          Some more years of my life went in getting graduated, first job, post   

          graduation, 2008-09 recession time getting the job with the

          God's grace.  

          Finally landed up in my current company.

          Most of all this said above has happened with all of us. Some of my

          friends, faced some of the really bad times of life.  And being their   

          friend, I always kept saying that something really good is in store for

          you. If some body's love life was in a bad shape due to some or the

         other reason, my response in handling it was trying to look in future    

         and being optimistic and positive. I could talk to them for hours trying  

         to pull them out of all those negative thoughts and saying that If 

         something has to go, it will go;don't hold it as its not yours and all

         those fundas..which we keep liking on FB.

There are many more such instances which can be outlined...

Getting back to any common man's life(Man or a Woman). As part of the Sine Curve, sometimes, things are going too good. He is doing good in his career, personal life is rocking but one decision of the life brings the sine curve below and it goes even beyond the basement that it changes his/her life, his lifestyle, his thoughts, his way of looking at the things, his career, everything, his future....Why???

Even if he tries to come out of it, he is not able to. Does this Shani kee Sadesati concept exists??? That means, if some body's life has started to move down, it will keep moving down for years??? Why??? Why ??? Till the Moon or Sun God will not move from this position to the next position.

Why some body's patience is tested to the level that the person can breakdown? Is there any learning in actual in this process of Sine Curve of God? There are many such questions which keep coming in my mind, seeing and listening to my friends and hence the conflict to believe the belief which has been there always with me since childhood that whatever happens, happens for a reason and something better of the best in in store for myself and one day I will get my share of happiness; but here I want to ask if a person looses all the patience and his hopes of rising up one day, then what is this Better of the Best???

Today sitting on the terrace and looking at the moon makes me look back at my life and some of the lives of my friends, that does this movement of the star/moon/sun make a difference in any body's lives? Does God really exist and is he doing all this intentionally - Why - Because we have to follow the theme of the movie 'Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gam'???

I agree with the lines that success is sweeter after all the struggle and success is more valued and you will understand what smile is etccc......................................................But............Why????

Smilingly Simple Life with No Preconceived Judgements

Holding my cute little niece in my arms brings the smile on my face, takes off all the stress. Playing with this few months old kiddoo who has no name as of now, just wants one to play more n more with her and not think of issues, challenges, hikes, appraisals, work and more stupid things of life.

Some months back when she was just few weeks old, we all were sitting and playing with her. Somebody commented - Humans are the most developed of all the living beings but are the most dependent beings when they are born and they remain so for quiet a few years. Didn't give much thought to this as just looking at this innocent child and keeping her in the arms was the best thing one wanted to do, rather think seriously about this.

Today, while I playing and looking at her trying to crawl, hold the hand....., made me think about the above comment made long time back. Isn't this the fact.. I am sure, all the parents would be able to comment better.

Human kids are so dependent on their mothers and other family members for sure to grow, to learn how to eat, walk, sit, do so many other things. I mean to say they cannot grow without somebody else taking care of them. If we see other living beings(animals) they do also need their mothers to teach them basics but they learn all this very fast and can live independently without the need of their mother after few days or weeks but human child needs 1-2 years and if we see otherwise some more years to be able to go out and live on their own without anybody's support. And this gets into our nature that we are always dependent on somebody else. Even those who say they are not and show that they are very much independent and don't need anybody, tell the lie of their life.

When the child is born, he is dependent on his mother for his food, for his care, for his growth in the best way. As he grows, for sure, he remains dependent on his parents forever(depends on the context in which we can say he is dependent or its just his and their love for which we use this small word "dependent"). School Time, he is dependent on his teacher, his classmates for the best education which he will get and become a good person.

 Now, it depends on us how and in which way we consider this word 'Dependent'. Many of us might take this word as 'Evil/Bad' word for anybody's growth and in today's world everybody wants to be independent.

Child after 4-5 years will say 'Parents, I am not dependent on you. It is your responsibility to do everything for me.'.

Wife says to husband' I am earning well, I am very much independent' and Husband echoes the same words.

Colleagues are independent of each other.

I am sure, we all want Independent wives, kids, husbands, parents to make life easy.

But, the emotional part of this person wants to say that what is wrong in being dependent. Let's look it other way round. Just to give different perspective, I will try giving some examples. When a wife says to her husband - 'Hey, please come and pick/drop myself to the office whenever you can and have time'. It depends on how we look at this. Husband can think - 'What a lady, can't she live, come and go on her own, she is very much educated and why is she being dependent on me. Other way to look at it is - Wow, this is such a good opportunity to get some more minutes with my wife. In this fast pace world when we both are working so hard on our career and get so much less time for each other. Its a good idea to drive down to her office whenever I get some time.

So, it depends on how we look at the idea. Is it actually dependency or is it love or is it the time one wants to spend with her/his loved ones. As we know this famous saying - 'Beauty lies in the eye of the beholder'

Somehow, I feel we interpret this word 'Dependent' in a wrong way. We assume, we interpret the way we want to, but not the way it is in actual.

Another example - As I said above, that Human Child is the most dependent on all the living beings. We all see this and its the very fact. But, isn't this human child and this dependency which gets the mother child, grandparents - grandchildren, parents - child relationships so close and strong. Does any other living being has such a close and strong attachment with other. It is just because of this dependency which the child has built up in his infancy that gets him close to his family and he understands the value of family, love, care.

Haven't we seen the cases/situations wherein child doesn't like his family coz. they did not give him time when it was required by him.

Why this difference of views for the same situation? Why most people take the word dependency in a wrong sense. Why don't we try to see the other side of the coin that it might not be actually dependency but the way of showing love, care and more closeness.

Also, why cant we differentiate between professional dependency and personal dependency/love/care/closeness???

For sure, when we face the Professional world and we are out in this world, we need to be independent and have to give out best and look up to take up the next position and work beyond our own capabilities. We should be doing the work on our own and work with the teams and be a leader to get the best out of ourselves for our organization.

And in our personal lives, we should be very much independent in most of the things, but there are some situations when you look forward that your child or your spouse should discuss with you and let you know and then take a joint decision over some situation or you look upon your parents, your spouse, friends to help you in deciding certain things. This should not be considered as being dependent nature of that person or taken as a negative personality of that person. It is known as giving value to that person. People looks upon you for certain situations as they trust you with their most precious possessions, thoughts etc.. They count on your faith and care you have shown to them. This shows that how much value you have in your life and you are reliable, so you should be cherishing this and not considering this as a liability. They value you and your decisions. Why cant we be happy coz. of this and rather find faults and issues?

Let's keep our lives smilingly Simple. If somebody looks upon us and is looking for something. Don't put the judgmental shoes and build up that this person cannot do anything or so many other things which come to the mind. We need to understand, get in his shoes and help him out at that point not by spoon feeding him but working with him to make him independent but don't take his dependency in the literal sense of this word but maybe take it up as his faith, his love, his care, his closeness, his reliability and confidence on you.