Nothing is Right or Wrong

Deepti, a close friend of mine always says one thing - Nothing is Right or Wrong. I never went in for a discussion with her but somewhere in the heart did not completely agree with her. But, yesterday a talk with Pramilla which started with office discussion and turned out to be full length life discussion and somewhere in between I said"Nothing is Right or Wrong".
I felt I never agreed to Deepti but yesterday when I mentioned this to Pramilla; I felt I do believe in it but its just that I never agreed; maybe was afraid to believe the fact of life.

Our discussion got over but I went into my thought mode as usual. Looked back at my life and found this statement so very true and tried thinking on this from each angle.

Not sure why but when I was a school kid I always wanted to be a doctor but was always afraid of injections/blood etcc..could not even dissect rat without crying. But still wanted to be a doctor. And when I could not clear my Medical Entrance Exams I felt why this wrong happened with me ....Why Why....But, if I look back today; suppose by mistake I would have cleared the exam; not sure if I would have been a good doctor....I know I did not turnout to be a good Engineer also.. :) So what's right or wrong?? Don't know..

Looking at some of my friends life..
For one of them - Her engagement was broken with the person whom she loved the most; She felt its all wrong and wrong. And just one question...Why Why....Let's not get into the reasons; but later, she found someone really nice who loved her like anything. So can we say that what happened first was right or wrong?? What do you say?

Other friend of mine did not get the job he wanted and felt it was all wrong and as usual Why..Why?? Later he got something really good and today he is in one of the top positions of the company..So What's right and wrong??


So, there are many more things which keep happening in our lives - breakdowns, loose people, break-ups, not getting the jobs at the right time, and many more things which if highlighted will bring tears.
That very moment when it happens we feel why this wrong is happening with me. Why....Why??
But, it seems the world famous quote 'Whatever happens; happens for a reason' is true. Later in life remembering this sad moment of our life might bring the smile on our face.

There have been so many ups and down even in my life. Even if I believe in all whats written above; I will still keep asking myself - "Why that happened to me - Why that wrong - What wrong etc..?". After all I am a human being and not yet attained nirvana; hence the question "Why" never leaves me and it is difficult to think completely that there is nothing right or wrong.The day the person realizes, understand the depth of this sentence - the person will be so very happy. Wish I attain that status soon...Amen.. :)

Isn't this Right or Wrong similar to Black or White; binary - one or zero. You can put some some of the things/situations/events of your life into one of these buckets but still you would be left with some which doesn't fall anywhere; what about them?
Let's take the example of the most lovely feeling - Can we say Love is right or wrong. It is just a different feeling; something we all want; something which can never be explained in words. And I am talking of parental love, sibling love, partner love, friendly love....When it brings smile on our face - we say its right - its all red and pink. But, when due to some reasons - it brings tears to our eyes - everything becomes black, zero and wrong.
So such events/things - let's keep them as it is and try not to put them in Right or Wrong Bucket. If you feel that it was wrong; don't loose hope, just try to resolve it. But even after you have tried; it does not work; smile and don't feel bad. As it was neither Right nor Wrong...

Keep Smiling.. :)

Women-Should we not be appreciated & loved everyday and not just March 8th?

Everywhere on FB/Newspaper/TV/Company Celebrations we can see women being appreciated for being on this Earth, for her sacrifices, for all she does 24*7*365, for all the love she gives all around
her, for all the great work she does, the way she takes care of the family, the way she is growing in her career and many more things which if laid down will take pages from my end.

But, I just have one question is it just for one day - March 8th??



 Let me try to put my thoughts via different phases of our life.
There are still regions in India or maybe even outside India where a cute little infant baby girl doesn't even get an opportunity to see her mother as she is killed inside the womb itself. Do I need to talk anything on this event of life? Just a question. Why???

Let's move ahead to next phase: School/College Girls
Luckily in cities, we are getting an opportunity to study and grow in life.  Villages are sad on that end also. Very few girls are lucky enough who are allowed to study and grow. Most of the other ones get married even before they realize that they exist. Again Why?

Giving an example of myself - my father and mother always wanted their daughter to study and do well in life so that I am self sufficient and never forced me to learn cooking or do any specific work. It was on me to do what I wanted to do. But, I heard many of our relatives/neighbors calling out to my parents that Sharmaji, this is wrong and...................... And I agree today, that I am not a great cook but I can cook to an extent that no one will remain hungry and I cook only when required. It's not my hobby. If you don't know cooking; are you not a good girl?? Do I come in bad girl's category?
Does man know everything???

Let's move to the next phase - Marriage
Each girl on this earth has the dream of getting married, leading a happy - loving life with her husband. But not many are lucky at this end. There are cases where she is burnt to death coz. of dowry; there are cases where she has to move out due to some or the other reason in her married life.
And dear friends, in any scenario; eyes are raised on girl's character. Why???

In each phase; I am not saying man are always wrong but dear friends; I want that don't be biased in saying that women have to be and are always wrong?

Normal scenarios:
When the child does something wrong; everyone points finger at the Mother. Is father not required or involved in child's upbringing. Why is mother only at fault or why can't child be at fault?

When she moves out of her marriage; what does this society say - Must be girl's mistake. Can't you wait to understand the plight she has gone through or why can't it be man coz of whom all this happened?

When she gets raped; again our society calls out - Must be girl's mistake. Imagine the state of this girl and on top of this such sentences. Will any girl ask for this to happen to herself?

When she is not able to handle the situations; she tries to kill herself - Again around you; this society will comment - She was only wrong that's why she killed herself.



Awesome. Do you want to say Women is equivalent to Wrong??? If this is the thought process, March 8th or any other date doesn't make any difference?

These are just some examples but how can we be always wrong and then one day in this year everyone appreciates us. What an irony? Why are we tested at each phase of out life?? Why no one tries to understand the reason behind each event and by default the variable of mistakes is set as women?

Out of millions; only few hundreds can survive real bad scenarios. I agree we can take inspiration from each one of those who started life in rags and now are millionaires; who could climb the Everest; who could fight the goons. But, do you think each girl is able to do this?
There are millions of cries which are not even heard out of the 4 walls?
What about those women? They don't know the difference between March 8th or March 9th. Each day/night is same for them.

Why can't we have safe, loving environment around us. Why can't man learn and instead of appreciating just on one single day - just be loving, caring, understanding each moment of life.
It's the man who need to learn and become mature in life.
She does so much as someone wrote on FB: Salute her for everything she does, (cooking, cleaning your house, taking care of your parents,bringing up your children, earning, advising you, ensuring you can be relaxed, maintaining all family relations, everything that benefit you.....sometimes at the cost of her own health , hobbies and beauty.

Very Happy Women's day not to just Women but to Men also!!!

God created someone who is Wise, only know to love , make sacrifices , encourages and never gives up , 

i.e. Women. 

Smiling Kabi... Always Smiling... :)

Looking at this always smiling cute little girl sitting on my side cubicle made me wish write something about her. Actually more than seeing her daily; her attitude which I felt when we went for this 10KM Marathon forced me to think and hence pen it down.
 

This cute girl - Kabi is in my Project. She joined few months back and is from our Support Team. I sit on her side and I find positivity all around me. She brings positivity, liveliness all over the floor. 

What to say about her attitude. Giving an example of this Marathon; we got this email from our Company Club. As usual without reading I deleted the email. Seems after a day; we were

chit-chatting and she asked me about this. Since I deleted without even opening the email; she forwarded the email and made me register; and not just register but asked to me go for 10 KM one as she had applied for the same. As she asked me; so I did without thinking. But when the d-day was coming; I asked her don't you think we did a mistake by registering for 10KM as my friends are laughing on me. She said - " Nitu let people laugh. It's fine. We might not complete; but we are being optimist and all these people who are laughing are pessimist. Organizers will not force us to run. Let us try. If we make it; we would feel good". 

And friends, It was her optimism and her attitude which made me ran 10 KM. So, it's you Kabi. Thanks for it.

It's not just Marathon. Don't remember the topic for our talk; but I remember one line of hers. We should not get ready or dress up for others. We should do it for ourselves also sometimes. We need to smile for ourselves also. Why is it that always a girl has to get dressed up, look good for some one else. Why??? 

So very true dear.

I don't know her completely but my dear Kabi you are an Angel. You are beautiful from heart and for sure you are a beauty. Your dance during our AHM was awesome. Anyone who sees it can forget his/her tension. Its a sweet medicine.

I can write pages of different talks we both had. She is full of energy and smiles.

But herein; I would want to add from my end; maybe many have said it before. 

                                    Our life 

                                          Starts with the cry; Ends with the cry - 

                                                Let us fill this blank of Start and End with Endless Smiles

                                                                                   Keep Smiling

For sure, there are tensions, issues, problems in life and its not in just mine but in each one's life. Even in the life of the person who is rich; even who is old, even who is young, even who has won Ms World, even who has won any match or anyone on this Earth.

These problems will not go anywhere; they are part n parcel of us.  And they have to be there to get the best out of us and give the best till we are here. So better we:

Live ---------------------------> Laugh --------------------------------> Love

Red Signal!!!

Travelling for hours on the Delhi Roads, made me think about these immovable items which keep standing 24*7 and provide selfless service to each one of us. Most of the times, we abuse, hate and just show our anger to them but they will still blink and smile at us. Lot to learn from them.

Here goes something in their own words.

I am the same thing which makes you finish your talks when I start blinking.

I am the same thing which makes you either stop or pick up the speed on the roads.

I am the same thing which comes in your life on and off. Sometimes, you welcome me with open hands, but otherwise you just shove off and hate me the most.

Could you guess by now? Who am I?

Very Right...I am the Red Signal.

I am sure; you all have encountered me in your life at some or the other point of time in actual or in literal terms. Maybe everyday and in every important decision or phase of your life.

Starting with the Contests, you see me always coming third in the end after my sisters Green and Yellow. I take care of my sisters and let them come before me. But I have seen people, sometimes, praying for me to come fast or late depending on their readiness with the subject. They love me if I come as per their wish and hate me if they are disqualified coz. of me. I am sorry.

Getting on to my Road friends whom I meet everyday rushing from here and there. I am almost deaf coz. of your honking and now I have migraine coz. of you, but nobody takes care or even thinks once before honking or flying across me.

I still have no issues with all this and I am ready to face it but, the point which I want to share with you is, I get in dilemma standing there with my sisters. Some of you are in hurry and want my Green Signal Sister to come fast but on the other hand who are either updating their Facebook status or buying the red rose at that point, want me to keep blinking for some more time.

Whom should I listen?? Now, if I keep blinking, one of you will start using some lovely words for me and if I allow my sister to start blinking, the other friend of mine will either hit somebody and will have to update his FB via hell or heaven or will be slapped by his girlfriend for not getting the rose. What and where is my mistake? But, please understand me, it’s not in my hand to either keep or stop blinking. I am completely controlled by some rules, similar to the way your life is controlled.

Standing there all day and night, I have seen all types of emotions of yours ---> smiles, laughter, cries, sadness, anger, shouts, abuses, everything and all at the same time. As is said, life is big circle and all these fillings are fillers here and there, but we all have to live and enjoy this life along with these fillers. My dear friends, I am of the same color which is the sign of both love and anger. I just follow the changes of your emotions. Sometimes, some of you get drunk, hit me. You and your car goes for repairs, but nobody even feels anything for me. I still keep standing there, smiling and blinking. Sometimes, I feel I am the licensed eve teaser who teases each one of you day and night and no policeman ever says anything to me, instead look forward for my winks.

But, as you sometimes either love or hate me depending on the situation. I just wish, you don’t have any pre-conceived notion of either feeling for me.

If this is the not the case for me, then why are you so judgemental for certain things and people around you?? If somebody has hurt you, done wrong to you, you start hating the person and it makes sense to do the same. Agreed, but not forever. He/She did wrong to you. You are a common person, and it makes sense to be angry, abuse and hate him. But, if you keep doing so forever, not even indirectly, you are directly hurting yourself. Let the things go off. You never know, the person might have changed and when you meet him next time, take that as the present and act accordingly. Things go wrong and sometimes, right because you don’t have the control over them, as I don’t have on my blinking.

Next time, and that will be today for sure, when you see me, please don’t hate me. I am there for you, just for you. Standing all alone, getting tanned in the sun, soaked in the rain and feeling cold but with no pre-conceived notions. I love you all and see you all with the same eye and complete my duties and responsibilities with full dedication and sincerity towards you. I am very much part n parcel of your life.

As somebody has said:

“Let everything happen to you
Beauty and terror
Just keep going
No feeling is final”

I wish you could fall in love with me(traffic lights), so that you would know if you should go for it, slow down, or just stop! Enjoy winking.

Why Me???

Teardrops slowly fall from my eyes as I look to the sky, and I question how come life keeps passing me right on by.  I just wonder why I can't escape, is this my fate?  To always be unhappy and how much longer must I wait...

Why Me???

I am sure, this question comes on and off in everybody's mind.

Recently saw this advertisement of Yuvraj Singh after his victory over cancer - WHY ME. I don’t remember exactly, but the ad seems to be for an Insurance Company.

But, this "WHY ME" triggered lots and lots of questions-thoughts inside this small brain of mine. The important fact of life and death and the complete process which we all walk through from the day we start breathing inside our mother's womb till we get onto the funeral pyre. 

Small baby who dies even before he takes birth; Mother thinks - WHY ME?

Now, if the child comes out and takes in the fresh air of our universe but something wrong happens later or is born with some abnormalities.

Again the mother says - WHY ME? On top of this she thinks wish the child had not seen the first rays of light of this world.

Now suppose, if with the God's grace and Doctor's abilities, all goes well.

He grows up to be a naughty child and one who doesn’t study much. Again the mom thinks - WHY my child only??Why "A's" child is so good and studies well. etccc.......

Let's make this child intelligent and smart but when he gives his Entrance Exams after school and is not able to make into one of the IITs or AIIMS by just one mark. Again the mother and now even this teenager thinks - WHY ME??? I was so intelligent and smart but still could not get through and now I am standing outside the gates of these prestigious colleges of India coz, some lucky friend of mine got through. But, did he ever think for all these 16-17 years, he was the lucky mascot for so many.

 Irony doesn’t stop here.

As we progress in our life from college to job to married life to parenthood to some illness on the way and even on the last step of our life - Death, if everything goes well, we just smile and thank god but never think WHY ME.

When even one event of the life takes a different turn and the Red Signal of our life does not change to Green for few minutes, hours, days, months and years...

We start asking again n again - WHY ME????

For sure, this moment of WHY ME is bad and it hurts and maybe sometimes we wish, if we had not taken this decision or wish to die or wish if some miracle could happen to pull us out of this situation or just wants to sleep for a thousand years, or just not exist, or just not be aware that you do exist, or something like that.  Wish the earth stops rotating and revolving or something which keeps you away from everybody and so many other thoughts keep spinning in your head.

At this point, somehow one more thought comes to my mind that all those books which talk about leadership and ask us to focus, concentrate and grow as a leader.

Is it easy to come out of this WHY ME and keep moving on the path of this leadership???? I still have to learn and walk this path.

As some great people have said---->

" Our life's a stage, a comedy: either learn to play and take it lightly, or bear its troubles patiently." Maybe during those WHY ME situations, we need to be patient and work to make the traffic signal Green.

OR

" Life is like the dice that, falling, still show a different face. So life, though it remains the same, is always presenting different aspects."

Keep Smiling..... :)