Nothing is Right or Wrong

Deepti, a close friend of mine always says one thing - Nothing is Right or Wrong. I never went in for a discussion with her but somewhere in the heart did not completely agree with her. But, yesterday a talk with Pramilla which started with office discussion and turned out to be full length life discussion and somewhere in between I said"Nothing is Right or Wrong".
I felt I never agreed to Deepti but yesterday when I mentioned this to Pramilla; I felt I do believe in it but its just that I never agreed; maybe was afraid to believe the fact of life.

Our discussion got over but I went into my thought mode as usual. Looked back at my life and found this statement so very true and tried thinking on this from each angle.

Not sure why but when I was a school kid I always wanted to be a doctor but was always afraid of injections/blood etcc..could not even dissect rat without crying. But still wanted to be a doctor. And when I could not clear my Medical Entrance Exams I felt why this wrong happened with me ....Why Why....But, if I look back today; suppose by mistake I would have cleared the exam; not sure if I would have been a good doctor....I know I did not turnout to be a good Engineer also.. :) So what's right or wrong?? Don't know..

Looking at some of my friends life..
For one of them - Her engagement was broken with the person whom she loved the most; She felt its all wrong and wrong. And just one question...Why Why....Let's not get into the reasons; but later, she found someone really nice who loved her like anything. So can we say that what happened first was right or wrong?? What do you say?

Other friend of mine did not get the job he wanted and felt it was all wrong and as usual Why..Why?? Later he got something really good and today he is in one of the top positions of the company..So What's right and wrong??


So, there are many more things which keep happening in our lives - breakdowns, loose people, break-ups, not getting the jobs at the right time, and many more things which if highlighted will bring tears.
That very moment when it happens we feel why this wrong is happening with me. Why....Why??
But, it seems the world famous quote 'Whatever happens; happens for a reason' is true. Later in life remembering this sad moment of our life might bring the smile on our face.

There have been so many ups and down even in my life. Even if I believe in all whats written above; I will still keep asking myself - "Why that happened to me - Why that wrong - What wrong etc..?". After all I am a human being and not yet attained nirvana; hence the question "Why" never leaves me and it is difficult to think completely that there is nothing right or wrong.The day the person realizes, understand the depth of this sentence - the person will be so very happy. Wish I attain that status soon...Amen.. :)

Isn't this Right or Wrong similar to Black or White; binary - one or zero. You can put some some of the things/situations/events of your life into one of these buckets but still you would be left with some which doesn't fall anywhere; what about them?
Let's take the example of the most lovely feeling - Can we say Love is right or wrong. It is just a different feeling; something we all want; something which can never be explained in words. And I am talking of parental love, sibling love, partner love, friendly love....When it brings smile on our face - we say its right - its all red and pink. But, when due to some reasons - it brings tears to our eyes - everything becomes black, zero and wrong.
So such events/things - let's keep them as it is and try not to put them in Right or Wrong Bucket. If you feel that it was wrong; don't loose hope, just try to resolve it. But even after you have tried; it does not work; smile and don't feel bad. As it was neither Right nor Wrong...

Keep Smiling.. :)

Smiling Kabi... Always Smiling... :)

Looking at this always smiling cute little girl sitting on my side cubicle made me wish write something about her. Actually more than seeing her daily; her attitude which I felt when we went for this 10KM Marathon forced me to think and hence pen it down.
 

This cute girl - Kabi is in my Project. She joined few months back and is from our Support Team. I sit on her side and I find positivity all around me. She brings positivity, liveliness all over the floor. 

What to say about her attitude. Giving an example of this Marathon; we got this email from our Company Club. As usual without reading I deleted the email. Seems after a day; we were

chit-chatting and she asked me about this. Since I deleted without even opening the email; she forwarded the email and made me register; and not just register but asked to me go for 10 KM one as she had applied for the same. As she asked me; so I did without thinking. But when the d-day was coming; I asked her don't you think we did a mistake by registering for 10KM as my friends are laughing on me. She said - " Nitu let people laugh. It's fine. We might not complete; but we are being optimist and all these people who are laughing are pessimist. Organizers will not force us to run. Let us try. If we make it; we would feel good". 

And friends, It was her optimism and her attitude which made me ran 10 KM. So, it's you Kabi. Thanks for it.

It's not just Marathon. Don't remember the topic for our talk; but I remember one line of hers. We should not get ready or dress up for others. We should do it for ourselves also sometimes. We need to smile for ourselves also. Why is it that always a girl has to get dressed up, look good for some one else. Why??? 

So very true dear.

I don't know her completely but my dear Kabi you are an Angel. You are beautiful from heart and for sure you are a beauty. Your dance during our AHM was awesome. Anyone who sees it can forget his/her tension. Its a sweet medicine.

I can write pages of different talks we both had. She is full of energy and smiles.

But herein; I would want to add from my end; maybe many have said it before. 

                                    Our life 

                                          Starts with the cry; Ends with the cry - 

                                                Let us fill this blank of Start and End with Endless Smiles

                                                                                   Keep Smiling

For sure, there are tensions, issues, problems in life and its not in just mine but in each one's life. Even in the life of the person who is rich; even who is old, even who is young, even who has won Ms World, even who has won any match or anyone on this Earth.

These problems will not go anywhere; they are part n parcel of us.  And they have to be there to get the best out of us and give the best till we are here. So better we:

Live ---------------------------> Laugh --------------------------------> Love

Even I Want To....

 


Even I Want To Cry...
Even I Want To Smile...
Even I Want To Open Up...






Howling at 3 AM in the night; eyes full of tears; praying to God "Please give me sleep, Even I want to sleep. Please let me sleep...God, I have office at 9 AM in the morning, Please give me sleep."

All alone in the room, suddenly my past starts dancing in front of me and I am not able to sleep. One after the other the events are flashing. My heart is heavy as if 100 Kg of box has been kept on it, each moment I feel as if my little brain will come out of the head like a chicken popping out of the egg.
I feel like vomiting, rush towards the washbasin, coughing loudly...I come out, switch on the lights; stand in front of the mirror and look at myself. Eyes are swollen; hair are untidy and ....empty eyes gazing at myself. Room is fully lighted but I am not able to see even streak of it. I have no strength in me. Am I going to die?
I am looking for answers which will never get answered. This is one of the similar nights when there is no sleep in my eyes - just nothing, or is it something or is it everything.
Why this keeps happening to me. Why? Why ? Why?


[ Friends, this is the starting of the small story, I would be putting it across through different posts on my blog. The girl here is named Tanya - a girl of my story. She will be narrating everything in her own words. 
Look forward for your views. ]

Poor Little Date!!!

Recalling something made me post on FB few days back:

You love some dates…

                      You hate some dates

You want to remember each and every moment of some dates...

                     You want to avoid each and every moment which reminds us of some dates....

One Single Date, You love it n You hate it...

                      Poor little Date, what should it do???

There were some comments and this made me think more and I decided to put down something after a long time.

We all have some or the other dates – B’day, Anniversaries, Engagement, first day when he took my hand in his, first date when he gave me a flower, divorce, first date when we fought and many more such dates. Some of these dates, we forget, but some dates either bring smile on our face and some make us look at the wall for hours n hours and at the end make the eyes watery.

Sometime back, I heard two of my friends:

Hey Nisha, I hope you are coming over to my place for the party tomorrow. It’s my 2^nd Marriage Anniversary. I am so thankful to my hubby to be on my side. Thanks to God, for getting us together.

Ohh, Richa that’s good to hear…Congrats and All the Best for the coming years….Tomorrow is my Anniversary also, but I got divorced 2 years back on the same date.

One date – Bringing the Smile on Richa’s face and tears in Nisha’s eyes.

                                             Irony of The Poor Little Date

We all have faced such situations, isn’t it? There are some dates in each one of our lives which we just love it, want to celebrate it each month, each year and look forward for it to come back again n again. 
For sure, on the other side of the coin, there are some dates about which when we think, brings goosebumps, tears, loud cry, shivers all over the body.

Is it the mistake of this poor little date? Or let’s try blaming our luck, that such n such thing happened, coz. time was bad or it’s our bad luck or the day was not good to start this event and many more such reasons.

What say??? Which one do you believe in?

Friends, none of the above is the actual fact. You know, I know, We all know. It is just that we always try to find something to blame on for all the bad things which have happened to us in our lives. It is just the state of mind. So, It’s not any type of our luck coz. of which one is smiling and other is sad. It’s just some situations, certain circumstances which let you be on either side of the river.  Most of us think that if we were only in some other place, had someone else in our life, or had some other job, we would be happy. Well, that is doubtful.

So, I feel that get as much happiness out of what you are doing as you can and don't put off being happy until some future date.

Everybody says and even big philosophers have said - Time is the biggest healer. But, somehow from my view point, time is a healer for sure but can you forget certain things, certain dates of your life which made you change your direction of life, your thoughts, your lifestyle, changed you as a person. Can you forget those dates???? Can time heal this??? Sorry to say but as per my views “NO”. Also, I feel, we should not forget those dates. But, yes we should not keep crying, cribbing over it. We are also entitled to get the best from our Dates. So, yes the time is the healer in the sense that it gives you the direction gradually, gradually to flow with what is happening or to flow the other way round, or to change your path. A day, good or bad, always passes by n u get something else. And we just hate or like a date.

What say!!! Let’s live each experience as it passes; the way we live our seasons, days; breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit, and resign yourself to the influences of each. Maybe each experience of mine till date and in the coming days, had and will have the date with destiny, so I need to be pretty and at my best. Isn’t it, I need to look the best for my dates.

I got some comments on my FB Post. Let’s try to look at those angles also.

I am sure, most of you must have gone on Dates. Some might have turned out sweet and some sour. So, either blind or planned dates which we go out for, somehow land in either being bad or good. Similar to the above lines, might make you remember it forever either this way or the other way.

Let’s check out one more angle – Dates. Have you eaten Dates. Some of you like and some don’t.  Again, poor single date – loved by some and hated by some.

So whichever, whatever types of dates you talk, it finally seems to have two sides, for some it’s good and for some its bad. Same thing/ same situation but two results. At this point I am able to recall one comedy serial which used to come on SAB TV where this character used to keep saying that if you do this, there are two options and that his infinite options used to irritate people but today looking back, there was so much weight in that comedy.

Would like to say even if a particular date was good or bad, Date is important coz. What is done on those dates is of value. So, let’s not wait for dates to tell or figure out how one should live his life.  We should just live and enjoy the moment. Atleast try to……

 
As someone has said:

With a bit of a mind flip………………

                   You're into the time slip.

And nothing can ever be the same…………

                   You're spaced out on sensation.

Like you're under sedation………………

                   Let's do the time-warp again.

Red Signal!!!

Travelling for hours on the Delhi Roads, made me think about these immovable items which keep standing 24*7 and provide selfless service to each one of us. Most of the times, we abuse, hate and just show our anger to them but they will still blink and smile at us. Lot to learn from them.

Here goes something in their own words.

I am the same thing which makes you finish your talks when I start blinking.

I am the same thing which makes you either stop or pick up the speed on the roads.

I am the same thing which comes in your life on and off. Sometimes, you welcome me with open hands, but otherwise you just shove off and hate me the most.

Could you guess by now? Who am I?

Very Right...I am the Red Signal.

I am sure; you all have encountered me in your life at some or the other point of time in actual or in literal terms. Maybe everyday and in every important decision or phase of your life.

Starting with the Contests, you see me always coming third in the end after my sisters Green and Yellow. I take care of my sisters and let them come before me. But I have seen people, sometimes, praying for me to come fast or late depending on their readiness with the subject. They love me if I come as per their wish and hate me if they are disqualified coz. of me. I am sorry.

Getting on to my Road friends whom I meet everyday rushing from here and there. I am almost deaf coz. of your honking and now I have migraine coz. of you, but nobody takes care or even thinks once before honking or flying across me.

I still have no issues with all this and I am ready to face it but, the point which I want to share with you is, I get in dilemma standing there with my sisters. Some of you are in hurry and want my Green Signal Sister to come fast but on the other hand who are either updating their Facebook status or buying the red rose at that point, want me to keep blinking for some more time.

Whom should I listen?? Now, if I keep blinking, one of you will start using some lovely words for me and if I allow my sister to start blinking, the other friend of mine will either hit somebody and will have to update his FB via hell or heaven or will be slapped by his girlfriend for not getting the rose. What and where is my mistake? But, please understand me, it’s not in my hand to either keep or stop blinking. I am completely controlled by some rules, similar to the way your life is controlled.

Standing there all day and night, I have seen all types of emotions of yours ---> smiles, laughter, cries, sadness, anger, shouts, abuses, everything and all at the same time. As is said, life is big circle and all these fillings are fillers here and there, but we all have to live and enjoy this life along with these fillers. My dear friends, I am of the same color which is the sign of both love and anger. I just follow the changes of your emotions. Sometimes, some of you get drunk, hit me. You and your car goes for repairs, but nobody even feels anything for me. I still keep standing there, smiling and blinking. Sometimes, I feel I am the licensed eve teaser who teases each one of you day and night and no policeman ever says anything to me, instead look forward for my winks.

But, as you sometimes either love or hate me depending on the situation. I just wish, you don’t have any pre-conceived notion of either feeling for me.

If this is the not the case for me, then why are you so judgemental for certain things and people around you?? If somebody has hurt you, done wrong to you, you start hating the person and it makes sense to do the same. Agreed, but not forever. He/She did wrong to you. You are a common person, and it makes sense to be angry, abuse and hate him. But, if you keep doing so forever, not even indirectly, you are directly hurting yourself. Let the things go off. You never know, the person might have changed and when you meet him next time, take that as the present and act accordingly. Things go wrong and sometimes, right because you don’t have the control over them, as I don’t have on my blinking.

Next time, and that will be today for sure, when you see me, please don’t hate me. I am there for you, just for you. Standing all alone, getting tanned in the sun, soaked in the rain and feeling cold but with no pre-conceived notions. I love you all and see you all with the same eye and complete my duties and responsibilities with full dedication and sincerity towards you. I am very much part n parcel of your life.

As somebody has said:

“Let everything happen to you
Beauty and terror
Just keep going
No feeling is final”

I wish you could fall in love with me(traffic lights), so that you would know if you should go for it, slow down, or just stop! Enjoy winking.

Vicious Cycle of Good and Bad!!!

 

Vicious Cycle of Good and Bad!!!

 

Saturday...Weekend Starts....Got up late, nobody else at home as all the family members are out of station for some or the other work. Household work, ready, breakfast done. Didn't feel like going out anywhere. Wanted to spend some time with myself, sleep, eat, read...Its almost afternoon and I thought why not read the newspaper...before I open my laptop and login on Facebook.
Normally, I read the editorial page of Times of India. Most of the time, the thoughts in the 'Speaking Tree' are good to read.

 

Today's article was also good. It was regarding the ten characteristics which a person should have for whatever reasons. For me the reason is to be happy and smiling at the end of the day.
So let's check out what those 10 characteristics are:
1. Earth/Patience.
2. Forgiveness
3. Control
4. Not to steal anything physically or mentally
5. Internal and External Cleanliness
6. Control over the Sensory and Motor Organs
7. Benevolent Intellect
8. Internal Assimilation of External Objectives
9. Truth
10. Non Anger
Had to read the article almost 3-4 times to understand it as per my way of living the life.

 

Many thoughts ran across while reading all this.
Is it possible and easy to have all the above 10 characteristics in this today's world, wherein we all are running around, competing against each other, fighting against ourselves and then our family and then our neighbors and then this world, wanting so many things and if we don't compete, fight, get angry, and so much more...., will it not be tough to live a family and a social life?? Will I actually get smile on my face if I have all this in me? Will I be able to live a easy personal and professional life????Or, all this is just for personal life and not professional? Does it mean, I should have two personalities?? Too many questions...
Ok, suppose if I follow and imbibe all the characteristics written above (by the way, I do have and good percentage of each of them.. :))) so to get 100% won't be tough)but what about others, they will still not be like this and hence, when I come across a person who is at 0% of not having all these characteristics and say I have 100% of all written above..What then?After all, I am a human being. I will be hurt, if I keep forgiving and the other person keeps hurting me. Some day, even my patience will loosen out and I will blast. Volcano is blasting finally. Right???Its like a vicious circle, Isn't it????

So, is it really possible?????

 

Fine, let's leave the humans.
Take the case of an iron.
Iron till the time, we don't do anything has lots n lots of patience. Does nothing. Simple. But,one day a very smart human being comes and he starts hitting this iron who has 100% level of patience in herself(Somewhat similar to the drunken husband beating his wife). But, our sweet little iron is quiet, saying nothing as it has the characteristic of having patience. But till when????? She has not been saying anything, forgiven him for hitting it once, twice, thrice and infinite no. of times. Now, she gets angry and breaks down, no more patience is left and either she gets converted to steel or is broken down into two pieces. Isn't it the case of diamonds made out of rocks and many more other examples which we all keep liking on the facebook to share the flexibility, strength, perseverance and what not...

 

So, somewhat like iron most of these dumb materials have all the above mentioned characteristic; if they can break down in extremes of the situation? What about we humans? We have emotions, we have brains to think, but still we break down..

 

Now, someone might say that we have brains to think and hearts to love. Awesome things given by the God Particle or by God or by DNA's or..... Let the smart people work on this.

 

Time to sleep and think if having even 50% level of each of the above characteristics is enough or complete 100% is required. Will I get my smiles at the end of the day?????

 

Poem by Laura Cummings summarises this. Link http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/a-vicious-cycle/
Some lines from her poem:
Whipped around, a vicious cycle
full of life and death, each vital to survival.
Giving up, making a new start, taking a chance on something new
Still making no sense at all, but perhaps it's not meant to.
Degrading, crushing, Encouraging, freeing
Compromise, age, learning to wait.
Life and death, each vital to survival.



I want this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!